Trying to Explain Grief - Part Two

All things, in the school of life, has led us to this moment - And Yoga, through it's wisdom, it's scientific methods, and the elegance of our subtle anatomy, shows us how - Not as a mere philosophy, or theories to be studied but as an experiential, essential part of your life; the spiritual and natural evolution of who you are. Truly.

Some Physical Symptoms of grief:

• Physical Weakness

• Change of Posture (protective heart)

• Changes/Loss of Perspective

• Digestive Problems

• Fatigue

• Sleep Problems

• Headaches

• Muscle Tension/Soreness/Tenderness/Increased Sensitivity: Skin

• Frequent Illness - Low Immunity

• Broken Heart

• Disturbance of Hormonal Function in the Body - e.g. Stress Hormone

Severe prolonged emotional stress, as a result of acute grief, causes many of these symptoms.

The emotional and physical exhaustion of grief takes its toll, disturbing the body's natural healing processes; the functioning of the immune system is compromised - as the body works for us to restore equilibrium, harmony and balance.

Some Emotional Symptoms:

• Guilt

• Sadness

• Anger

• Loneliness

• Anxiety

• Numbness

• Irritability

• Detachment

In the early phases of grief, the loss still does not feel real - the shock and numbness we might feel is an innate level of protection for us. Our emotions will be in a constant state of flux, feelings of anger, moving to depths of sadness.

We may feel intense fear of being alone and anxious about our, now changed, future, we may experience feelings of losing control.

We may experience Anticipatory Mourning; grief before a loss occurs. Those dying of terminal illness go through this, as do their loved ones.

How can a grieving person cope with what they feel and ultimately accept the loss?

There may also be a secondary loss - that follows death; loss of income/social support, loss of home, loss of being a care-giver.

Other types of grief, internal or symbolic; loss of a role (which was important to our sense of identity or personal meaning) Loss of hopes & dreams for future experiences - maybe we take on new roles in our community and to find that by helping others -strengthens our own will & resilience:

• New sources of meaning & purpose

• New activities to look forward to

"Live for yourself and you will live in vain;

Live for others, and you will live again.” - Bob Marley

We may experience Complicated Grief:

• Feeling Angry or Bitter

• Feeling Dazed or Emotionally Numb

• Wanting to Die to Join the Deceased

• Being in Disbelief or Unable to Accept a loss

• Feeling prolonged, Intense Sadness & Yearning

• Ruminating on the Circumstances Surrounding the Death

• Feeling Like Life is Meaningless, Senseless or Profoundly Unfair

Complicated Grief can occur if we have lost a love one to suicide.

Ambiguous Loss describes Complicated Grief that arises from losing a loved one to dementia. The loved one is still physically there but psychologically absent, making it hard to recognise the loss.

Loss is traumatic, and painful and can cause depression.

We may seek help through counselling, or spiritual coaching to help us find an understanding, and practical methods to guide us to process our bereavement (Loss).

(Sometimes people commit themselves to a related cause and work to ensure others do not have to suffer).

Giving can be healing for someone suffering.

Sometimes even if we can acknowledge a loss intellectually, our response to grief can leave us in a state of denial, we may, at times in our life, suffer numerous losses in a short period of time. The challenges of life can feel overwhelming. Sometimes we are left to grieve, what seems like alone; for societal reasons, or there is a complete lack of understanding; for example if a mother suffers a miscarriage, or an abortion.

We can experience grief, very deeply, after the loss of our animals and pets.

We can experience grief after being diagnosed with an illness, and a loss of our physical health, unable to resume our life as it was before.

It can be so difficult to make sense of it all, and we are left with our painful reactions, trying to navigate our broken life, our broken world, our broken heart.